So I in vision Chris Farley on Saturday Night Live as he lists in quotations all his perceived personal struggles. As told by his peers, Farley sates such issues as “not wearing clothes that fit me” and “never having sex with a woman”. Apparently he “does not know how that works”. Like Farley (may you rest in peace the world is not as bright without you) I believe it is prudent to look at one’s self from time to time to discover ones true self. I’ve had recent occasions to “soul search” and this short list comprises a few perceived personal struggles.
It turns out I’m high strung (who knew I just made this realization this century), I aggravate easily (thank the good lord for Zoloft), I’m opinionated and I expect others to value my insight (all you have to do is listen I don’t care if you agree), I’m passionate (it gets me into trouble), I’m a perfectionist who holds high expectations for myself and others (please define perfection I have no idea what my basis of comparison is), I swear (expletives deleted) I’m OCD or ADHD or a combination of both, I was drawn to law enforcement to offset mental conditioning derived from years of constant bullying (I’m compiling a list all you rotten bastards, better start apologizing), I jump to assist at the drop of a hat to the detriment of health and family (self worth comes from pleasing others right), my son acts just like me (Dad you were right he was scraped off the same rock you found me under), who I am evolves daily (sorry babe I try), I aspire to be white trash (Is it bad to idolize Kid Rock and Michael Anthony), I think of myself and immediately berate my selfish desires, I have isolated a little part of me (a complete opposite of how I was raised) struggling to manifest as dominant.
In a nutshell, perceived personality flaws prove to be a monumental pain in the ass as I attempt to suppress learned tendencies and subconscious behavior pathways. I have aspirations of decency and personal balance. I guess I’m complicated, at times a complete asshole, but always light hearted. Life is funny and worth living. I enjoy laughing. I’m more comfortable now in my own skin than I’ve ever been. All I ask. Get to know “me”, I’m really not as big a jerk as I first manifest.
It turns out I’m high strung (who knew I just made this realization this century), I aggravate easily (thank the good lord for Zoloft), I’m opinionated and I expect others to value my insight (all you have to do is listen I don’t care if you agree), I’m passionate (it gets me into trouble), I’m a perfectionist who holds high expectations for myself and others (please define perfection I have no idea what my basis of comparison is), I swear (expletives deleted) I’m OCD or ADHD or a combination of both, I was drawn to law enforcement to offset mental conditioning derived from years of constant bullying (I’m compiling a list all you rotten bastards, better start apologizing), I jump to assist at the drop of a hat to the detriment of health and family (self worth comes from pleasing others right), my son acts just like me (Dad you were right he was scraped off the same rock you found me under), who I am evolves daily (sorry babe I try), I aspire to be white trash (Is it bad to idolize Kid Rock and Michael Anthony), I think of myself and immediately berate my selfish desires, I have isolated a little part of me (a complete opposite of how I was raised) struggling to manifest as dominant.
In a nutshell, perceived personality flaws prove to be a monumental pain in the ass as I attempt to suppress learned tendencies and subconscious behavior pathways. I have aspirations of decency and personal balance. I guess I’m complicated, at times a complete asshole, but always light hearted. Life is funny and worth living. I enjoy laughing. I’m more comfortable now in my own skin than I’ve ever been. All I ask. Get to know “me”, I’m really not as big a jerk as I first manifest.
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